Saturday, January 31, 2015

Better Feminists Watch Porn

Dear Lady Friends,

I hear many of you saying things about society being broken because it promotes skinny, you should be able to eat what you want and still be beautiful. I hear you say that photographs of women that have not been altered are feminism. And then I see you buying up all these magazines with altered pictures of women you then go home and feel depressed you don't look like or something.

STOP IT.

These skinny models are made for WOMEN we are the ones buying their pictures, we are the ones commenting that Miss Hotmodelinsertname has gained 3 pounds. We are the ones reading article titled “How These 17 Actresses Saved Their Career With A Haircut!” and “Lose 7 Pounds in 10 Days!” Most the men I know don't care about five or ten or 15 pounds cuz chances are your boobs got bigger too. Are you still hanging out, having sex, and trying occasionally to impress him? Did you get him to drop his motorcycle maintenance magazine to come for a quick romp? Have you dressed in that little outfit he likes so much just to show him you still want him? He may not have even noticed the 5 pounds. Porn stars are usually heavier than super models. According to the info I found, the average porn star is 117 lbs at 5'5" and the most commonly reported bra size? Sit down for this. It was 34 B. MILF is the second most popular porn search term. Those women often have a visible scar, or butt zit, or acne. The average super model? 110-130 pounds at 5'11.

Now, with that said: Let me tell you what feminism is and isn't.

Feminism IS: supporting your sisters.
Feminism IS Eating healthy, working out, and loving your HEALTHY body whatever size it is.
Feminism IS teaching our daughters to have a balanced healthy diet and make good choices.
Feminism IS wearing clothing that cover you in an attractive and flattering way.
Feminism IS teaching our sons to be strong and intelligent and respectful.

Feminism is NOT wearing a mini-skirt and heels then complaining when men look at you. I would stare at any man in the same outfit and roll my eyes a little.

Feminism IS wearing that damned miniskirt and feeling good knowing all those dumb bastards want you. And not giving a shit about their opinion.

Feminism is NOT teaching our sons to be self loathing & sex fearing.
Feminism is NOT embracing and replicating the worst stereotypes of Men.
Feminism is NOT doing gross things with bodily fluids. Yeah really we would be grossed out if a dude was bleeding from his nose or penis no matter how natural it may be. Blood is GROSS when it isn't yours. Suck it up.
Feminism is NOT eating 5 bacon double cheeseburgers and two milk shakes because you can.
Feminism is NOT putting your body at risk of malnutrition working your way to a heart attack any more than it is working out stop and starving yourself on a diet of cabbage and vitamins.
Feminism is NOT blaming society because you can't reach standards of beauty that you helped create by giving your hard earned dollars to magazines that photoshop their models.
Feminism is NOT buying into Cosmo, 17, and Elle, paying for their product then accusing men of creating this image.
Feminism is NOT whispering to your sig-o after a party about all the weight Friendyouhavenot Seeninalongtime has gained.
Feminism is NOT alienating other moms because they make different choices.
Feminism is NOT alienating women who enjoy their sexuality. No man taught me to enjoy having an orgasm. That happened naturally.

Feminism IS being strong, being sexual, being healthy. It is raising our daughters AND sons to love their bodies, their intelligence, their capabilities, their sexuality. It is being their when our friends need us.

So if you really want to be a good feminist, watch porn with your hubby instead of buying that next fashion magazine.

Next time you catch your hubby jerking off to Elle or Cosmo I will let you tell me I am wrong.